Sarah's Blog

So a little about me and my background.

I'm a 40 year old single mum, divorced for 10 years and my beautiful though stressful children are 14 and 11 years old. I am a mature student studying my first degree after an accident led to me losing my job. This has left me with a lifetime medical condition that I manage sometimes badly everyday, but I manage. I have been through some very tough times in my life, my now ex husband leaving me and my two children homeless and having to restart our lives not once but now twice.

I have had a problem with my weight since I was 23 years old. I have tried every diet under the sun, sometimes to the point where I have ended up in hospital. Please know I have been desperate enough to lose weight that I have damaged my own life in the process. Now I look at life in a different way, well I am trying to. I want to make my life to be about the things I am going to achieve. I don't want my life to be just something that passes me by anymore. I am making small changes to make my life relavent. I don't want to be stick thin anymore. I don't want to be like the women I see on TV.

I do however want to be healthy and happy. I know that I am going to slip up and old habits will rear their ugly heads but I am human, I will make mistakes but the time has come to accept that I am gonna trip up but if I fall I can pick myself up, dust myself off and get back in the game. I know I am one of many who feel like we have been dealt a rough hand but maybe I should start by picking the cards for my hand in the future. Take back some control in my life and make it count for me. I will laugh at some things and I will break down and cry at other things but they will all mark my path and hopefully be a story I tell when I am old and grey (L'Oreal is covering up the grey for now). Hopefully I can share some of these if not all of these things with everyone else.

You can catch my previous blog posts here

Blog 14

Ok anyone who says this is easy is a liar, a big walloping, pants on fire kind of liar. OMG it’s reading week at university which means I get a whole week to catch up on things for my assignments.

I need this break for sure, so imagine my horror that on Monday I start feeling pain in my back and thought oh no please don’t let me have a kidney infection (they warned me I could get other symptoms while finishing off tier 3). I managed to get an appointment straight away at my G.P. surgery (I know, a miracle). So, I popped down there to chat with the doc and see if I had an infection or if it was this damn gall bladder playing up again. Hmm well he poked, he prodded and I nearly went through the roof in his office. He decided it was not an infection but could be my gall bladder playing up and told me to take some pain meds and if it acts up again to go straight to the hospital. I made it as far as the pharmacy before I felt the wave of nausea hit me right at the same time that pain shot through my body. I swear if I had not been in the middle of Tesco I would have thought some wally had shoved a javelin through my side. With tears in my eyes I begged the pharmacist to hurry with my prescription so I could get some painkillers down my neck before I either passed out or vomited on their counter. I managed to get home thanks to my dad and take the painkillers only to be met with more shuddering pain.

Ten minutes later I am in the car being rushed to Accident and Emergency, now I would have been pondering asking for frequent flier miles or some reward scheme clubcard but I could hardly breathe with the pain. My local A&E department are amazing, I am actually thinking of proposing marriage to the whole department, can you marry a department? They made sure I was given strong painkillers and I saw a doctor in under three hours even though it was very busy. I guess me sitting in the waiting room rocking back and forth whilst moaning and wailing in pain is not enticing to watch. The doctor I saw decided that as I couldn’t have the surgery as I am awaiting two other surgeries that I should have it noted that I am to be kept topped up with strong painkillers all the time and that my G.P. should be made aware of this too. He sat and wrote an email to G.P. right in front of me saying how they were to keep a prescription for high medication until my surgery date comes through. I am so grateful to him for doing this as I genuinely can’t bare anymore pain. I have to admit I was close to attempting ripping the damn thing out myself and be done with it all. Pain makes your head think weird things and in the cold light of a pain free day I feel silly for thinking such things. I’m just so tired from it all. They don’t warn you just how hard the journey is, do they!

On a much lighter note I had the courage to venture out for the evening, I know it’s a miracle. Anyone who knows me well enough knows I love political comedy and Jonathan Pie was live at the Junction, I have been an avid fan of the weekly youtube video’s since they started in 2015 so couldn’t resist booking tickets. I dragged my poor sister along with me who is not a massive live comedy fan but she is very supportive of me, so she came along and oh my did we have a good night. I haven’t laughed so much in a long time. I actually had faceache from all the laughing. The support comedian Andrew Doyle was absolutely amazing too. I was nervous meeting up with my sister at first because as I have said before I have kind of locked myself away from the world. I didn’t want people to stare at the fat woman having to move to let people through and so on but as usual my sister made the evening wonderful. We made the startlingly discovery that I have locked myself away from the world for two and a half years. I can’t believe I have kept away from everyone for so long. It was strange to go out and just wonder around Cambridge as I haven’t been there since I was a student there a very, very long time ago, but the night was fantastic and my sister has said I need to take baby steps and get use to going out again.

I shall be venturing out to see people I haven’t seen for years on Sunday. I am saddened that it will be to drink a toast to a very dear lady whom I will miss greatly who sadly passed away but it will be good to see people and try and start to become a bit outgoing and lively like I use to be before the accident and everything went downhill. I admit to being quite scared even though these are people I have known for years. Hopefully everything will be fine. It’s gonna be a while till I go back to the hospital and see how everything is going and give you an update on that so you will have to put up with some insane rambles from me. Ooh and I have job now as well. I will be working as an outreach ambassador for my university. I can’t wait to start that. Well I shall raise my coffee mug right and drink to hopefully a pain free month and me not doing something embarrassing on Sunday when I stick myself in a room full of people for a change.






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Sarah is an independant blogger, the views and personal opinions expressed in blogs are soley those of the original authors and other contributors.
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