Sarah's Blog

So a little about me and my background.

I'm a 40 year old single mum, divorced for 10 years and my beautiful though stressful children are 14 and 11 years old. I am a mature student studying my first degree after an accident led to me losing my job. This has left me with a lifetime medical condition that I manage sometimes badly everyday, but I manage. I have been through some very tough times in my life, my now ex husband leaving me and my two children homeless and having to restart our lives not once but now twice.

I have had a problem with my weight since I was 23 years old. I have tried every diet under the sun, sometimes to the point where I have ended up in hospital. Please know I have been desperate enough to lose weight that I have damaged my own life in the process. Now I look at life in a different way, well I am trying to. I want to make my life to be about the things I am going to achieve. I don't want my life to be just something that passes me by anymore. I am making small changes to make my life relavent. I don't want to be stick thin anymore. I don't want to be like the women I see on TV.

I do however want to be healthy and happy. I know that I am going to slip up and old habits will rear their ugly heads but I am human, I will make mistakes but the time has come to accept that I am gonna trip up but if I fall I can pick myself up, dust myself off and get back in the game. I know I am one of many who feel like we have been dealt a rough hand but maybe I should start by picking the cards for my hand in the future. Take back some control in my life and make it count for me. I will laugh at some things and I will break down and cry at other things but they will all mark my path and hopefully be a story I tell when I am old and grey (L'Oreal is covering up the grey for now). Hopefully I can share some of these if not all of these things with everyone else.

You can catch my previous blog posts here


Blog 20

Goodness me where has the time gone? Well life has been busy, busy, busy. I am back at university for my final year and I am so happy to be back there. I have text books everywhere and the chaos is on a grand scale but it’s just so much fun.

I feel a bit out of practice with this, so if I ramble please forgive me. So what else have I been up to? Hmmm well, I had a minor freak out when the hospital cancelled my appointments in October and switched them to January. Yes, I know that is a mental thing to have to sit through. I phoned them and explained they hadn’t actually seen me since July and if I wait till January then who knows what might have happened by then. They agreed it was too long and changed it to November instead of January. I still have to go have the ECG thingy in October but the surgeon and anaesthetist appointment will now be November. I am dreading it as I know I have put on weight and I am scared they will turn me down. I am trying very hard to lose again, but now I can eat normal food again it’s having a huge impact on me so I am trying to get my mind in the game properly and focus on my goal. I can’t fail at this, I just can’t.

Oh, I started selling make up. I thought I would give it a go and turns out I can actually make some cash from it. I earnt enough last month to buy tickets for Harry Potter World. We go at Christmas, I’m so excited about that as I really want to go so much and can’t wait to take the kids and my sister too. I have noticed my confidence is starting to pick up since I started selling make up. I am taking selfie’s which is something I would NEVER do before. I don’t know if you have actually looked at the photo I used for the Big Matters website but I look like cousin IT. If I could have made my fringe longer I would have just so I could hide behind it. Now I don’t do that anymore, I take pictures of me with my full face on display and even without make up. Sounds silly but it’s quite a big step for me to do that. I have never liked the way I looked and right now I am liking myself more and more each day.

With my personal growth happening quite quickly now I have noticed many things about those around me. I have noticed who is supportive in my life and in my choices and who isn’t. I find it wonderful that so many support all the decisions I make and they stand by my stand but I find myself disappointed by quite a few who I thought would support me but decided instead to tell me I was taking an easy route out of my situation. I am going to start doing a little video each week throughout the rest of my journey as well as this blog because I think sometimes people need to see just how hard and humiliating it to be fat shamed by those around you and see that in fact weight loss surgery is no easy fix, in fact if anyone watched Mama June on TLC they would have seen exactly how agonizing it is. The pain you go through after the surgery is immense and should be taken lightly, there is a reason this is not offered unless absolutely necessary, this can KILL you. If you had asked me 6 months ago I would have happily shuffled of this mortal coil with everything I had gone through medically. So anyone thinking that people who receive weight loss surgery or even weight loss therapy are taking the easy route then please feel free to walk a mile in their shoes before you join the very long queue of people who have already made them feel worthless and like they don’t belong.

As always much love and respect to you all and I will be back with news of the ECG thingy. I really do hate them the sticky things are so annoying and for some reason I always forget to take one off and then find it that evening as it tries to rip a layer of skin off because it has been on so long.









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Sarah is an independant blogger, the views and personal opinions expressed in blogs are soley those of the original authors and other contributors.
These views and opinions do not represent those of Big Matters and/or any/all contributors to this site.



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