Melanie's Blog

Let me introduce myself. I am a very happily married woman with two beautiful very teenagery teenagers and am currently what I like to refer to as a ‘homemaker’. A cereal dieter (any diet you could possibly think of!), I have struggled with my weight all my life. I remember being put on diets as a youngster - but I’m not going to bore you to tears with the soap opera that was my childhood. I am going to begin in 2012. This was the year when after many visits to the doctors I was told that all my ailments were due to being overweight.

So I sorted it out. I ate healthily most of the time and I joined the gym and went religiously. I went from 13.5 stone to somewhere between 11.7 and 12 stone depending on the day. I still had a couple of stone to lose on a bad day, but I was happy in my skin and I felt good about myself as I was nicely toned and had loads of lovely endorphins rushing around my brain thanks to all the exercise - so those last couple of stone didn’t bother me at all.

In July of 2014 at the tender age of 37 I found out that I had a massive cancerous tumour growing on my kidney (errrr, yes, those ailments weren’t down to my being a hypochondriac at all but lets not get into that - I have a tendency to rant when I go there), so in September of the same year I had a radical nephrectomy, and my surgeon warned me that due to the size of the tumour which had been squashing my stomach and a combination of something to do with cortisol and adrenalin (connected of course to the removal of the kidney and adrenal gland - I really don’t understand how it all works) I would more than likely pick up a couple of stone within a year.

So, with that fabulous news, I spent the year following surgery trying numerous diets - you name it, if I hadn’t done it in the last year I would have done it prior to 2012!! Now by trying the diets, what I mean is hearing about someone losing a lot of weight, finding out how they did it - starting the diet in the morning and then shoving anything I can lay my hands on that doesn’t relate to said diet into my face at an alarming rate come lunch time.

You will be surprised to hear that I have not lost any weight this way. Combine this with not going to the gym (along with healing, I have moved further away from any gym and really had a lot on….excuses, excuses amiright!?), and I have picked up a grand total of (cue fanfare) 2 STONE!! I have inadvertently caused exactly what I have tried to avoid! At the risk of sounding like a terrible cliche…I cannot wait for the new me to emerge in the new year - here I go on a journey. I cannot be fat AND 40!! No more ‘dieting’. That doesn’t work for me. Just eating right and exercising. That’s what I will be doing.

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Post 3

All that excitement about starting my weight loss journey petered out so quickly that I almost gave myself whiplash. I was convinced that giving myself some time in order to get myself in order was going to be beneficial….I was wrong. Over the past three weeks I have lost an incredible two pounds. I know if I had stuck to it as I wanted to it could have been over half a stone. On the positive side though, I have been doing lots of exercise, but as my trainers say: ‘you cant outexercise a bad diet’.
I have found a page on Facebook called ‘Food Freedom’ where a psychiatrist called Georgie Beams is helping people to work through their food issues. I am currently on day two of the free five day special and I must say it has been very enlightening. My initial scepticism was due mostly to the fact that actually, I DO know that I turn to food rather than face my inner turmoil - I wouldn’t
be in this situation otherwise would I? What has helped me is that she is giving me strategies to learn with how to deal with it when that happens. Usually when I ask myself ‘Am I really hungry or am I just eating this because I want to?’ I answer with ‘I just want it, it tastes good and I want it in my face NOW!’. Today, I asked myself ‘Am I really hungry or am I eating this for some other reason? Boredem? Avoidance (a biggie for me)…?’ and I answered ‘Nope, not hungry, in fact I would rather feel good about myself than eat this and have the immediate good feeling followed by the self loathing that is bound to follow’. What I have found most interesting and beneficial is reading everyone else’s stories and recognising that I am in fact not the only person who feels the way that I do (I know I have always known it but … I don’t know, it’s like a lightbulb came on) and turns to food for reasons other than hunger. So many of the stories resonate so deeply that it’s quite disconcerting at times.
I am still going to my weigh ins (okay honestly, I haven’t been to the last two due to having all sorts of problems sorting out general household things and I am having work done on my house and every time someone needs to see me it coincides with my weigh in. Really!! I know I can go to other meetings at other times, but I guess that since I know how I’ve been eating I really don’t want
to … there you go, I have said it!). I will be going this week though. I am avoiding the avoidance that is my tendency. I want to lose the weight and be a winner!
Although I am still trying to make good choices, I have some difficulties coming up. I am having an extension done on my kitchen. They are breaking though in two weeks, and I will have nearly SIX weeks sans kitchen. I am really fretting (fretting usually = eating) about making good food choices while this is all in progress. There will be lots of eating out and taking out. Oh heavens above!!
Just the thought makes me want to face-plant in chocolate and fried chicken!! But of course I won’t do it - because Georgie is teaching me how to confront my problems rather than eat to suppress them. I have been checking out menus to decipher their nutritional content so that when the time comes, I am fully prepared and can make good choices. Meh.

To contact Melanie email and subject line of melanie
Melanie is an independant blogger, the views and personal opinions expressed in blogs are soley those of the original authors and other contributors.
These views and opinions do not represent those of Big Matters and/or any/all contributors to this site.



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